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Funny Story: How Nigerian Soldiers helped me reset my brain with beating

Funny Story How Nigerian Soldiers helped me reset my brain with beating kikiotolu

This happened to me about a year ago and I have been too ashamed to tell anyone but after seeing chucks suffering similar fate today I just have to share my experience.

It all started when I met one beautiful girl Sandra, she was not just beautiful but she was also single. Single girls that are beautiful are very scarce in my town and Sandra was gold to me.

We spoke frequently and she seemed to like me. I was really into her as I can remember waking up in the middle of the night to checkout the hot pictures she sends to me.

It took me a month to fix our first date [Honestly if you a Nigerian you would understand why it took that long, Nigeria girls can like to long things.] and we where to meet at a nearby eatery.

I planned to impress her as my friends told me that first impressions last longer so I wore a black top, camou shorts, dark shades and a nice footwear.

I arrived before Sandra and when she walked in it was worth the wait, she dressed to kill, wearing a very short gown and boots. I felt like taking her home that instant, but I just had to play cool. The patient dog eats the fattest bone they say.

It wasn’t long before a guy called her on phone, he said he saw her enter the eatery and asked if he could join. She accepted and didn’t even ask me if I would be cool with it.

When he came in she did the introductions. His name was Adamu and he was a soldiers. The word soldier just made my tummy turn upsidedown, my hairs stood erect and the chair was no longer my size.

To make matters worse she made a joke of him asking her out but she not liking him because he was a soldiers. At that moment I knew I must not stand up for any reason so he won’t see my shorts.

I began to play Mr nice guy while my brain was replaying all the stories of how soldiers punish civilians like me.

My cover only lasted a few minutes as Muhammad who was also a soldier came in to join us, he immediately noticed my shorts and jokingly asked if I was a soldier. I replied honestly and they simply made a joke out of it.

I thought that was the end as my heart beat began to balance and I became more free cracking little jokes.

Adamu and Muhammad left us and some minutes later Sandra told me we should get going. I walked her out, she gave me a tight hug and thanked me for the outing, this made me more happy and I paid for her bike money.

I began to walk back to my bustop, I was so happy that at last I got an high class lady in my nest that I didn’t notice Adamu and Muhammad by the side walk. I just heard “Hey!!!” from the back, at first I thought it wasn’t me but when one big hand grabbed me by the side I turned round and gave the person a hot slap.

Honestly it was reflex and not my fault, in Lagos you have to be smart as criminals try to outsmart us but this time I think I was over smart. I just slapped Adamu and I knew I was as good as dead.

He just spat on the ground, then gave me a good craping, I landed on my buttocks before I could beg or explain I saw Muhammad bringing out a long whip.

Jesus, I was beaten like a drum, the two men just continued to pass me like football and the worst thing was people gathered and began to watch like it was a drama.

Nobody begged for me. I think they felt I was getting served what I needed. Adamu asked me to begin doing ‘funny things’ as he put it. That day I learnt how to walk with my head, plant my self into the ground,
in mud and many more.

After the whole beating Adamu released me. Then he said something that hurt me. He gave me my cloth and said, ” I just wanted to ask you how you convinced Sandra to like you”.

I couldn’t respond to his question as I just tried to find my way back before they change their mind.

I didn’t tell Sandra about this and yes we are now dating so don’t show her this post.

Written by Ayeni Tolulope

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